Being an entrepreneur needs you to state your case and be assertive without overstepping the line of social etiquette and good business conduct. It is even more daunting for women because of gender rake-ups or just the fact that they have been conditioned to be of milder manners, or that they for most part are being the crazy jugglers of work, family, more work and life in general.
But having run a business for years, here are a few things we have learned about being assertive without losing who you are naturally.
Tips for women to be assertive at work
While there’s no one way to approach this, here are a few things that have worked for us:
1. Develop self-awareness
People are quick to notice the places you fumble at, the places you are vulnerable, the places you bend easily at.
One needs to do a good screening of their strengths and weaknesses and work on them to become less susceptible of being taken advantage of. This needs to be a ruthless exercise where you don’t explain your weakness to yourself for every time you have to step back because of them but work at the reasons leading to them, to eradicate them from the root through diligent efforts.
Reflect on situations that you found yourself stuck in and how you felt about it and what worked/ didn’t work for you. It is like how it is commonly said- “Take the bull by its horns” or let it run amuck over everything you’ve worked hard for.
2. Communicate clearly and confidently
Servility in speech is a fatal flaw.
Words like ‘just’ or ‘ sorry’ or ‘it’s fine/ okay’ or ‘probably’ and so many more speak of your lack of conviction/ your readiness to put up with things you don’t quite agree with.
Such filler words used unless necessary, undermine your authority. State your opinions, needs, and expectations confidently and clearly. Be ready for any discussion or clarity you may be required to give sometimes. Use clear, concise, and direct language.
3. Practice saying no
An entrepreneur’s life is a mad spin of endless to-do things.
Scheduling all work is the only way to ensure that there is no heartburn and all deadlines are met with. A lot many times there may be the need to say a firm ‘no’, turn down a social invite, refuse to join up a meeting scheduled at the last minute, decline being rushed into a client one on one at the spur of a moment.
Learn to say “no” without guilt when needed.
When something doesn’t align with your goals, say it in as many words. It is called setting boundaries and prioritizing work. While you firmly stick to your schedules, consider offering alternative solutions wherever possible to demonstrate problem-solving skills which in turn speak of your business acumen too, to some extent.
4. Own your accomplishments
Don’t underplay your achievements and contributions. It is important to be vocal about them on all professional platforms to expand your network in your chosen industry and bring yourself more visibility for future ventures.
Never assign your success to luck and use “I” statements to reiterate your role in the making of your success story.
5. Seek feedback and act on it
No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Keep yourself in the loop of constructive feedback from peers, industry experts, mentors, and team members to understand areas that can do with improvement.
Use this feedback to ace your skills, refine your assertiveness by standing on firmer grounds, and honing your communication style. Learning is a forever process. Never pass up a chance to get better.
6. Set boundaries and stick to them
Respect your goals, timelines, communication channels, and your personal spaces fiercely. Spell out what is acceptable and permissible and what doesn’t sit well.
Follow it through with gentle reminders and subtle push backs every now and then. Consistently reinforce these boundaries to prevent overstepping by clients, colleagues, and team members.
7. Prepare for difficult conversations
There is no skirting the difficult and challenging discussions. Prepare in advance by putting down the key points and desired outcomes. Think about how you are going to present your case and what words you are going to use.
Meditate, get a hold on your breathing, stay calm and focused during the conversation. There is no shame in admitting to places where you don’t feel adequately prepared to offer an opinion. You can always ask for more time to come back to them a little later. Honesty and transparency is always a lifesaver.
8. Use non-verbal cues
While talking, make sure you use a firm and steady tone, and have an open and confident posture. Maintain eye contact with who you are engaging with. Don’t over-gesticulate with your hands, keep shifting on your feet, stand with your arms crossed across your chest, be too submissive or too forceful in your conversations.
Keep a steady keel and make the best impression.
9. Develop emotional intelligence
It’s a good skill to develop over time. Understand and manage your emotions and those of others. This helps to foster healthy, respectful relationships in the workplace and in navigating difficult conversations.
Empathy makes for a better human. Better humans make a better world.
10. Build a support network
‘No man is an island’. No, really.
Especially if you happen to be an entrepreneur you have to ensure that you have built yourself into a community of mentors, peers, and other women leaders who share your passion and can offer advice, support, and encouragement. This tribe you build for yourself is the place that buffers your falls and shortcomings too.
11. Focus on solutions, not problems
Be solution-oriented in your approach towards challenges. Take the initiative and propose actionable solutions, which can build trust and respect.
Be calm when setbacks happen, calmer when the setback is a nasty client, and absolutely zen when it comes to taking the final call on if a problem can do with trouble-shooting or is irreparable on either end.
12. Practice assertiveness techniques
When they asked you to practice your speech/ debate in front of a mirror, it was for building confidence in your speech and correcting your body language.
There are times when you will have to and you should indulge in role-playing exercises to practice scenarios where you will have to step up and forward and assert yourself. This helps in building confidence and improving your response to real- life situations. Simulation is a healthy, fool-proof way of building your strengths.
13. Manage imposter syndrome
There will be times when you will be filled with self-doubt and feel that you don’t deserve what you have accomplished. There will be a lot of negative self-talk, but don’t let the imposter syndrome kick in.
At times like these, remember that your skills, experience, and hard work got you where you are today. Never take away the credit from yourself. Look for help and encouragement from your peers, mentors, and co-workers who can help to bring you out of this place of constricted thoughts and self-limiting beliefs.
Conclusion
Be assertive, not pushy.
This happens when the ground you stand on is wetted with enough experience, skills, hindsight and foresight. When this happens you become a person who has great depth in the area of your passion and you speak the voice of reason.
And the voice of reason is a soft whisper. It need not scream to be assertive.
So all women entrepreneurs out there, build yourself into this voice.
Stay with us and subscribe to our blog to find ways in which you can become more assertive and show your muscle in the entrepreneurial world.
